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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775662">Love Don't Leave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chkilk01/pseuds/Chkilk01'>Chkilk01</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tom and Bella [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sam Heughan - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Secret Marriage, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:41:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chkilk01/pseuds/Chkilk01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom and Isabella have been secretly married for years.  Well before Tom hit it big with Loki.  Only a select group of people know the real story.  What happens when a pair of blondes cross the line?  Can Tom and Isabella find there way back to each other or will someone stop them?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tom and Bella [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1 Annoyed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fanfiction, please bear with me as I navigate my first story.  I will be updating tags as I go along.  Please all feedback is welcome.  I know there are a ton of mistakes with this, and I am still trying to figure out the formatting.  Also, this is fiction, like any writer I have taken liberties to work within my story.  Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Isabella’s phone rang; the sound of Prodigy’s” Poison” rang through the room. She really needed to change his ringtone she thought as she looked at the time. It was 3 am, 10 pm in New York. “I’m on my way home.” The voice said on the other end. “My Flight gets in at 10 am.”<br/>
Isabella rolled her eyes, the sound of his voice had started to become nails on a chalkboard to her. He, on paper, was her husband who at one time she loved dearly. Now she wanted him just to forget about her. “Ok, why? You are not to be home for 2 weeks?”<br/>
“Because of the need to change somethings in our life. Beginning with our marriage and why the hell I can’t have you with me as my wife in public…”<br/>
“I don’t know... why are you not with that blonde chick anymore?” I asked him. “Look, Tom, I have some errands to run tomorrow and an appointment before I start the Outlander job Wednesday. So I won’t be home much to be with you at all when you get here.”<br/>
“You won’t, or you don’t want to be at the house when I am there? He asked.<br/>
“Bingo…” I said looking at the time. “And, with that, it's time for all goods girls to go back to sleep, fly safely.”<br/>
“Jesus, how did we get this way?” Tom hisses<br/>
“Ask Chad, ask yourself for not standing up for our marriage. Ask yourself why is it you think you can play around with other women while I am here in London alone.”<br/>
“Oh, there is a conversation with Chad that is going to happen; and you are going to be there when it happens. This whole charade is over. I do not mean our marriage either. You know I have never cheated on you, you know that. I will see you later. I love you.” Tom whispered the last words.<br/>
She sighed, “I love you too, and I’ll try to be home about mid-day.”</p><p>Isabella returned to the house around 1 pm and saw his suitcase in the foyer when she walked in. She heard music coming from the kitchen and banging of pots and pans. He must be making lunch. “Hi,” Isabella said softly leaning on the counter. God, he was beautiful, his hair shaggy and he had it back to his natural red and a red goatee. His 6’2” slim strong runner's body was the thing she missed at night the most. His physically being there in their bed, his arms around her, when she woke up, is what she missed.<br/>
“Hi,” Tom smiled and walked over to her leaned in and gave her a kiss “Hungry? A very nice wife must have gone out and bought me my favorite things for my return. “<br/>
“I know better than to not have what you need after that flight.” Isabella replied, “No, I’m not hungry.”<br/>
“Sorry wrong answer, you are looking a little pale.” Tom put his hands on her waist it felt different but he couldn’t place it. She looked different, “Eat with me, please.”<br/>
“Ok, did you make me some tea?” She asked sitting down, he put a mug in front of her and a sandwich.<br/>
“I swear for an American you drink more tea than the Queen.” Tom laughed.<br/>
“That should have been my parent’s first clue I wasn’t going to live in the US when I grew up. “ I looked at my husband, really looked at him over the rim of my mug as I took a sip. There was something he was keeping from me, something that caused him to come back 2 weeks early, “Are you going to tell me the real reason you came back so early?”<br/>
“I don’t even know if I want to tell you. It’s not that I want to keep it a secret, because of what did happen things are changing.” He began, “Oh my god I am going to use a line from one of my movies…. Don’t smash anything…. Do not throw anything at me or across the room and don’t hit me…” Tom put his hands in a prayer pose<br/>
“Just get on with it…”<br/>
“Last night I met Renner for dinner and a drink, he was in town and had time to catch up, we are at that Italian place you like downtown. Suddenly I heard my name, I thought it was a fan and paid no attention to it. Then suddenly the waiter was setting another plate and bringing over a chair. I look up and it is the blonde.”<br/>
“Excuse me?” Isabella hissed<br/>
“Exactly, my thought,” Tom began, “ I asked her what the hell she was doing there and how the hell she knew I was in town and she needed to leave. She then proceeds to tell me that Chad called her. He told her to come and interrupt my dinner since we had not been seen together in a while. The best was what she said, “Chad told me to come since the cunt doesn’t want to be your wife anymore. As, if she ever was…’ She was lucky Renner was quicker and closer to her than me. He got her out of the restaurant very quickly and quietly. That is when I called Chad and told him he needed to start writing a release that I have been married for 5 years and to fix this lie he created. That I love my wife and if he thinks I am walking down the red carpet alone while you wait inside for me hidden, he is dead wrong. So I came home to spend time with my wife before she has to go to Scotland… Hell, maybe I will come with you for a week before I start the play, see my Dad.”<br/>
“I don’t know what to say.” She stood up and went to the sink. Her stomach rolled from the anger. “It took someone calling me a cunt and telling you our marriage was over to realize it is?”<br/>
“What is?” He grabbed her wrist and turned her toward him. “Our marriage is far from over, it barely started and now we have to fix it. I am not walking away; I just finally…”<br/>
“Grow up, grow a pair of balls stand up to Chad?” She hissed, as she broke free. “I’m going to throw up.”<br/>
Tom followed her to the bathroom and held her hair; he got a washcloth for her. Once she righted herself, he picked her up and took her to the bedroom. “How long have you been sick?”<br/>
“Couple days,” Isabella replied<br/>
“And you didn’t think to tell me in the 10 times I have called you in the last few days?”<br/>
“I don’t think I am actually sick with anything…” Isabella looked at him, Tom was an extremely smart man, and he just did not really get hints well.<br/>
This time he got it… “You are pregnant.” His statement sounded like more of a question. “When, how, it has been over 2 months since we were together?”<br/>
“The appointment I have today is with the Doctor. I think I am almost 3 months already. I had no clue until I started getting sick for no reason. So, I guess you coming home early is fortuitous.”<br/>
“You never thought to tell me?” He asked her, he was upset she hid this information. When they were first married, they tried to have kids but it never happened, they suffered miscarriage after miscarriage and they gave up. Isabella could not handle it anymore. When they gave up trying, their marriage started to fall apart.<br/>
“I don’t know how I feel about having a baby right now.” She told him.<br/>
“We tried for how many years, we gave up and gave up on our marriage.” He confessed to her. “What time is the appointment?”<br/>
“In an hour, so I guess we should get going.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Heartbeat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short chapter but, I think tells you how deep hurt can be in a relationship.  Even the happiest moments don't feel happy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     Seeing Tom sit in the waiting room with a bunch of pregnant mothers made her day.  He was squirming in his seat, bobbing his leg up and down.  They filled out the paperwork and the personal medical history for them both.  By then the nurse called them back.  Taking her weight, Tom noticed it was up about a stone from normal, the reality of his Bella carrying his baby, their baby, was beginning to seem like it could be.  The nurse had her take a urine test and then took some blood before they got to the room.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>     In the exam room, pictures and models surrounded Tom of things that made him squirm.  He felt out of place, it wasn’t the first time he had been in an OB/GYN office, they had tried for the first 3 years of their marriage to have children but it never happened, the IVF treatments, months of disappointment, the physical and emotional pain of three miscarriages took a toll on them both.  The last doctor told them they needed an end date.  A date where they needed to stop, find a different way, choose a different option because having a child natural was not going to happen for them.  Now, they could be having a true miracle baby and their marriage was falling apart.<br/>
<br/>
“Well looks like you are going to be parents.  Congratulations! “   The doctor walked in the room smiling.   Why don’t you get up on the table here and do a scan since you are not really sure of the date of your last period.”  He said.<br/>
<br/>
“I think I know when I got pregnant, just not when I had my period over two months ago,”  Isabella said.<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor began the scan, taking pictures measurements, making noises.  Tom was enthralled by the images before him but could not figure them out.  The scans they had before were always of eggs and did not look like anything but a white dot.  He could see a shape with a head, arms, and legs.  “Um, is everything ok with the baby?”  Tom asked holding Isabella's hand<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, yes, but you’re almost 12.5 weeks along.  You had not noticed any symptoms before.”  The doctor asked setting up so they could hear the heartbeat.<br/>
<br/>
“Just a few days ago, I felt sick.  Thought I was gaining weight from stress and I had stopped running lately.”  Isabella told him looking at Tom as they listened to the baby’s heartbeat.  She could not help but smile.  It was the first time she had ever heard one of her baby’s heartbeats.  “So what is next?” Isabella asked wiping away a tear.<br/>
<br/>
“Your due date looks to be 6 April.  I will have the nurse give you some information to read, you two look like the type of people who would rather read it than have me tell you.  If you have any questions, the nurse will set you up on our portal and you can e-mail me any questions or call me at any time.  She is going to give you some vitamins.  She will set up your second scan for a few weeks from now and have you come in for some more blood work next month.  So here are your pictures and congrats!”  The doctor smiled.<br/>
<br/>
“Wow,” Tom smiled looking at the picture “We created this”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah,” Isabella looked at his face, “We did” she sighed<br/>
<br/>
On the way home, Tom could not stop smiling, his hand was on her thigh, I watched him.  Why is it I could not feel the same way?  I was not happy, I didn’t want this to happen anymore.  Yes, it was a dream but that died with the last miscarriage 2 years ago.<br/>
<br/>
“Why are you not happy, we are actually having a baby, something that has taken us 5 years to do.  We are past the really, scary point of losing it, we never were able to keep a baby this long…  ” Tom stopped midsentence “You do not want the baby, do you?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry Tom, I don’t know.  I do not know what I feel right now.  I look at you and see this beautiful person, someone who I know… knew, someone who I remember loving and not being able to keep my hands off of when he walked in the door.”  Isabella sighed rubbing her forehead.  “I do not know what I want right now.”<br/>
<br/>
“Do you really want to get a divorce?”  He asked<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t see how we can save this.  I do not see how a baby can fix our problems, you are still going to film all other the world.  I have my job; I am on set months at a time…”  Isabella said, “I don’t know you anymore and you don’t know me.”<br/>
<br/>
Tom pulled in to the house and put the car in park.  “That is my fault, I let Chad dictate my life, and honestly I wasn’t there for you after the last miscarriage either.”  He got out of the car and opened her door.  Helping her out of the car, he shut her door and held her against the car.  “I am so sorry.”  He tears welling up in his eyes.  He leaned in and kissed her softly, a kiss she knew well.  A kiss she knew was only for her.<br/>
<br/>
“Let’s go inside,”  Isabella said with a small smile.<br/>
<br/>
Tom laid his forehead on hers and took a deep breath, “We have to fix this…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Icebox</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't like to do chapter summaries, novels don't have summaries.  So sorry about the short chapter still writing more tonight.  Stroy is starting to flow.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The house felt cold, Isabella was sitting on the couch head in her iPad, Tom was watching a movie, and reading the information the doctor had given them he became antsy as hell.  “Where is my ring?”  Tom asked going up to the bedroom to his night table where he kept it.  Putting it on he noticed Isabella’s was on the table as well.  “Well, you don’t belong here either,” he said aloud.<br/>
<br/>
Then he got an idea.  “Bella, could you please come up here, I need you to see something.”  He had bruised his side in a stunt the other day and it was still bothering him.  He figured he could use it as a way to her to touch him.  Touch was the one thing that could always bring them back together; no matter how long they had been apart from each other.  He was hoping it was still true.  “Please” he took his shirt off and sat down at the end of the bed.<br/>
<br/>
“What do you need…?  What the hell did you do to yourself?”  Bella asked looking at the bruise which started at his rib cage and when around his side to his back.  “Can you lift your arm?”<br/>
<br/>
“Not really, hurts like hell though; I was doing some stunt work, brushing up on my sword work and took a broad sword to the side.  Is the cut still there, I can’t tell.”  He lifted his arm as best he could.<br/>
<br/>
“Not too bad,” she touched the bruise lightly.  “Let me get the rub to help with the pain.”<br/>
<br/>
“No, wait…”  Tom stopped her, “can we just lay here a while and let me hold you?  I think we need that more than anything else right now.  I need to feel your body against mine.  It has changed and I do not know it anymore.  I need to feel you, and put my hands on you.  You are my wife, your ring back on Jesus.  We are not separated or divorced, we are going through a rough spot, and we are going to be parents.  It is time we started acting like it...  Please come lay by me.  You said we do not know each other, we are in our house, and it feels like an icebox between us.”<br/>
<br/>
The look of pleading in his eyes, the pain she saw both physical and emotion in them.  She could not disagree with his request; it had been a long time since she had been in his arms.  “Alright,” she agreed, “it’s just hard for me to let you touch me knowing you…”<br/>
<br/>
“Knowing I did what?  I have never cheated on you.  No matter what you have seen or what people may have told you, I have never slept with any woman but you since I met you.  I never kissed any of those women Chad set me up with, this has only come up since we saw each other last.  What is going on?  What happened in the last two months that you suddenly do not believe me?”  He asked lying down on the bed and pulling her next to him.  He put his arm around her and held her.<br/>
“I saw a picture of you, kissing someone, I do not know who it was, and she was blonde so I figure it was the recent thing Chad picked out for you.”  Isabella explained, “You were laughing with her on the beach holding hands.  That is when I realized our marriage was over.”<br/>
<br/>
“Can you show me the picture?”  Tom asked generally concerned.  “I think what you saw was the Cologne AD I did in California.  Because I do not remember being on a beach with anyone else and I really don’t remember kissing anyone.”<br/>
<br/>
Getting the pictures out of her side table, she gave it to him.  “Chad sent it over to me about a month ago.”<br/>
<br/>
“He is fucking fired.”  Tom hissed looking at the pictures that were from the photoshoot he had in California.  Grabbing his phone, he looked for Christian phone number he was the head of the agency.  “Christian, sorry for this phone call, effective immediately Chad is no longer my agent.  I have no problem with you personally taking over my career or I can start the process of changing agencies.”  Tom got up began to pace the floor.  “Chad has put my family in jeopardy, lied to my wife about me having an affair, had a women show up at a dinner I was having with Jeremy Renner and announce to the entire restaurant my wife was a cunt.  I want him fired.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes, I’m married.  5 years, he never told you?”  Tom continued to answer Christian’s questions now getting pissed.  “You better get ready because I am going out tonight for dinner with my wife, wearing our rings and you all are going to have to figure out what to do.  I will give you 24 hours to change my contracts to you.  Otherwise, I will look for new management.”  He hung up the phone and looked at his wife who was in shock.  “Get ready, we are going out tonight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Beer and Whisky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Frustration, and a new body</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you crazy?”  Isabella asked him.  “You want to go out in public as a married couple?”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes,” Tom smiled crawling up the bed and kissing her deeply.  “Time to take back my life, ”  moved his kisses down her neck to the spot he knows better than anyone would make her breath intake sharply.  He was not disappointed in her response and the moan that followed.  “I am going to make love to my wife right now, then we will go to dinner.  You will not be allowed to say no.  Understood…”  He returned to her lips and kissed her.  “What does my Little Girl say?”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes Papi,” Tom hadn’t been Papi in bed in years, Isabella loved it when he took control.  It was not really domination, just when he was in charge he was very good.  He had worked her shirt off and her bottoms.  Still kissing her body, his hands ran up and down her new body.  “Jesus Christ,” He said stopping and looking at her.  “You are so fucking beautiful right now.  All I want to do is suck on those breasts.”  He sat her up to undo the bra that was barely to contain them.  “How did you not realize you were pregnant?”  He laughed, “Now let’s see what else has changed…”<br/>
<br/>
An hour later, they were curled up next to each other exhausted.  “Hum, I think I am going to like the next few weeks at home with you.” Tom kissed her.<br/>
<br/>
“If Papi is back I’m all for it.  I will have to change my ringtone back to Will Smith.”  Bella laughed against his chest.  Even if only for this moment, it felt they were just married again.  Bella sighed at the warmth of his body next to hers, the smell of sex on his skin, his smile of satisfaction on his face.  “You seem well satisfied with yourself.”<br/>
<br/>
“Hmm…  I am,” he yawned then resting his head in the crook of her neck.  Suddenly he looked up at her curiously, “What do you have for your ring tone for me right now anyway.”<br/>
<br/>
“Prodigy,” Isabella laughed as Tom tickled her and flipped them so she was on her back and he was on top of her.  “What did you think it was?”<br/>
<br/>
He pulled her hands above her head and held them by the wrists.  Leaning down he started nipping at her nipples then soothing them with his tongue.  “I don’t know, hum… but I am seriously distracted by your breasts right now.”<br/>
<br/>
“As much as I love attention, I need to get up.”  Bella smiled.<br/>
<br/>
“Fine,” he rolled off her, he watched her naked body walk to the bathroom.  “Damn, your ass has gotten better too.  Can we just figure out a way to keep this body?”<br/>
<br/>
“When we did the IVF treatments I would get this way,”  Bella replied as Tom walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower.<br/>
<br/>
“No, not this way, I could feel in your stomach, it is changing, your hips, your breasts, and your face.  Everything has changed, your skin is softer your smell your taste.  There is something about you that is so intoxicating.”  He told her as he pulled her into the shower.  “There is this glow.  I want the smile I saw when we came together when we were making love, not the pain I saw on your face when you walked into the door.”  Tom began washing her hair. “I missed you so much.”<br/>
<br/>
“I miss my husband,” Isabella looked Tom in the eye.  “I miss the man who would take me dancing, who would make me laugh at his stupid jokes.” Tears came to her eyes and she looked down at his chest.  “I miss the guy who would read to me at night, the man I love.”<br/>
<br/>
Tom pulled her close and let her cry on his chest, “I am so sorry my love; I promise I will never let anyone come between us again. Now let’s get finished getting cleaned up and go on our date night.”  Tom kissed the top of her head.<br/>
<br/>
While Isabella got ready, Tom went downstairs to make another phone call.  This time he called Chad.  “What the hell do you think you were playing at?”  Tom hissed into the phone, watching to make sure Isabella did not enter the room.<br/>
<br/>
“Ah Tom, thanks by the way for getting me fired.  I did not think Mr. Nice guy had it in him.”  Chad replied obviously drunk.<br/>
<br/>
You are to call off that blonde, what’s her name, Stacy.”  Tom told him, “I am serious, I will have her arrested for harassment the next time I see her. I have the video for the restaurant with audio if I need to get a restraining order and I will do it in every country in the world.”<br/>
<br/>
“You two had a great time at the photoshoot and later that night…”  Chad laughed remembering Tom that day and how he was playing around in the water and sand with the blonde.”<br/>
<br/>
“Nothing happened between us.  You created something that was not there, let it run because someone actually found out I was married and was going to go public.  I never want to see you near me or my family again.”  Tom hung up.  He looked upstairs, nothing was going to come about to hurt his family, not now.<br/>
<br/>
“What restaurant are we going to make our debut at tonight?”  Isabella smiled as she walked down the steps in a black short sleeve babydoll dress. “It’s the only thing that fits.”<br/>
<br/>
“It looks beautiful, so I had three thoughts for dinner, Italian, Middle Eastern, or the pub for good ole British food. I figured Mexican and Asian may be too spicy and you can’t have many types of fish…”  Tom took her hand and spun her around, “Yep, beautiful.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m good with a pie and chips.”  Isabella smiled, “That actually sounds really good, chips sound really good.”<br/>
<br/>
“I know the perfect place,” Tom pulled her by the waist to the car. “I could use a drink or two anyway, you may be driving home.”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, I love to see you get drunk.”  Isabella laughed, “you are so giggly and funny, plus you tell me everything when you are drunk. But, it’s not really nice to drink in front of your wife who just found out she is pregnant and has to go dry.”<br/>
<br/>
“Alright I’ll be good, but I get the traditional beer and whisky…”  He kissed her as he opened the car door and helped her get in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Vows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>New chapter, enjoy. Right now I am not writing out the sex scenes at this point.  Next chapter, welcome Sam Heughan...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Isabella woke up exhausted, it was 6:30 am and they had fallen asleep around midnight she had to meet her new clients at the salon around 9:00 am in central London.  Even though she as a hair and makeup artist she mainly worked on set, Isabella kept a chair at her friend’s salon for herself.  She had it for a couple of reasons, some of the actors she worked with on set became her clients.  Also, when developing a look having a full salon was easier to use because everything she needed was there.  </p><p>“Why are you up so early?”  Tom yawned as Isabella got out of bed. </p><p>“I have to need my new clients at the Salon at 9:00.  I need somehow to figure out a way to dye a damn blonde red without making it look orange.”  Isabella replied getting her robe.  “It is harder than you think to do.”</p><p>“What is the name of this show?”  He asked getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom.  </p><p>“Outlander, a period piece set in the 18th century in the Highlands.”  Isabella yawned while he walked passed her, “Do you know Sam Heughan or Catriona Balfe.”  </p><p>“I have heard of both of them. Are they the leads?”  He asked laying back down.  He knew who and what Sam looked like and for some reason, that worried him.  His plans were defiantly changing for this morning.  He had a read through at RADA for Coriolanus that afternoon; he could go over the salon, take her breakfast, and meet her new clients.  If he wanted to get her back, he needed to take interest in her work.  There was something inside him that needed to show up and assert his dominance.  It is a feeling which had been gnawing at him for months.  Isabella had been expressing more self-determination; she did not share anything in detail anymore.  He answered questions with the least amount of information possible, stopped updating their calendar unless it was a major event that was out of London she had to attend.  Hell, she got an award last week and did not even tell him about it.  He heard it from Renner. </p><p> Deciding he might get her talk while she was getting ready, he went down to put the kettle on to make her.  He made the tea and took the vitamins the doctor gave them up to her and some toast.  She was putting on her makeup when he walked in.  “Here thought you I’d make you some tea, I have your vitamins,”  Tom said softly putting the drink and food down on the counter next to her.  He turned around and leaned on the counter.  “How are you feeling?”  His hand reaching out and touching her stomach, pulling her in front of him with the tie on her robe.  He smiled as she moved between his legs.</p><p>“Thank you for the tea,” Isabella replied looking down at his hands, she took a deep breath.  Last night she tried to put away all of the hurt she felt, to remember why she loves Tom.  Now, after making love all night, she was scared.  It would be too easy just to fall back into their old habits.  She still was not sure nothing happened that day in California.  “Um… tired, but I am getting used to that, a little nauseous.”  Isabella shrugged.</p><p>Tom ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her in for a kiss.  “I’m sorry I kept you up so late last night.  You told me how you are feeling physically.  How about what you are feeling about us right now, after last night?”  Looking down at their joined hands, “You have closed yourself off from me and I can’t read you anymore.  We have always been able to read each other in that weird empath way, but you have put a block.”  </p><p>“I…  I don’t trust you right now,” Isabella replied to him looking directly in his eyes.  “Let me explain, I trust no one but you with me, my life, my wellbeing, that you would never do anything to physically hurt me.  I don’t trust you to not to hurt me emotionally and now that we have the baby, I have to protect myself and our child.”</p><p>“Protect from what?”  He asked.  “Those pictures were part of that damn add campaign ad Bella.  I fired Chad, I canceled press to come back early because I knew we needed time together.   I never cheated on you; I never broke my vows…”</p><p>“You didn’t break a vow?  We vowed to respect each other, to forsake all others.  Don’t you think you broke those?”  She said angrily, “Because I do, you disrespected me with those other women.  You disrespected me with not sticking up for us, me, our marriage with Chad.  Getting back together isn’t as easy as just dinner and a night of making love.   Look I have to finish getting ready; I should be home by 5.”</p><p>“You’re right; I did disrespect you, and our marriage.  Another part was forgiveness.  I am asking you to forgive me, and I am doing everything I can to make it up to you and change the future for our child and us.  I grew up in a divorced family; I will not let my child have to go through what I did.  Please, I broke your trust, but I never cheated.  Please, can you forgive me?”</p><p>“I will eventually.  I can’t just forgive and forget.  I don’t know how you could expect me too.” She sighed trying to disengage from his embrace.  “I love you, in my heart I do.  Last night, I did, as you said, unblocked that feeling…  Look traffic is going to be horrid; I need to get moving.”  </p><p>“Ok, I should be home by between 6 and 7.  Do you want me to grab take away?”  He asked getting up.  </p><p>“I’ll make supper.”  She sighed exhausted from the conversation, Isabella leaned into him wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.  The tears just started to flow, it came is sobs,</p><p>“Oh, my love, I am so sorry.  So, sorry I never meant to hurt you.  I was just trying to protect you, I didn’t want your life to change.  Oh, Jesus, I am so sorry.”  Tom held her tight.  “Please forgive me.”  </p><p>“I will in time, I just need some time,” Isabella replied backing away.  “Ugh, I am going to be late." </p><p>“If you can be ready in 15 minutes I will let you take me.”  Isabella sighed "I’ll go get dressed and you take a shower.  Does mommy need to layout your clothes too?” </p><p>“There’s my sassy American girl.”  Tom laughed, “Yes, you dress me the best.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hair Dye and Tom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jealousy and Sam gets orange hair.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have written three different versions of this chapter.  It is a combination of those versions.  Positive I have some great material for future chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom dropped her off at the salon and said he would be back later before he went to his read through for the play.  Isabella went in and set up her station before the day started.  Isabella looked up and saw a tall blonde man, with amazing blue eyes, about her age walk in the door. “Hello,” he said in a Scottish accent, “I’m Sam.” The sound of his voice almost made her moan.</p>
<p>“OMG, if I wasn’t already carrying Mr. Hiddleston’s child, my uterus would be hurting right now,” Isabella thought as she smiled and shook his hand in welcome.</p>
<p> “You must be Caitriona, you are right on time!”  Isabella smiled welcoming them.  “I’m Isabella Murphy; most people call me Izzy...  Are you both ready for this?  I am going to tell you right now the process to get you to film is going to take a few steps. We will do the first part today and then the second next week and hope your hair does not fall out.  Cat your hair is easier, just a perm.  Welcome to the 80’s”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sitting down on at the table, she poured them some drinks and got to work.  “Let’s talk about how you see Jamie and Claire. Tell me how you see yourselves as the characters, your vision.  Then I will give you the studio vision.”  The three talked for an hour or so about the look each wanted, and what the Outlander book, told them about the characters.  “This process will take a few weeks for us to get right, I am not going to lie, doing a series is hard on your hair.  Cat you are lucky, your hair is naturally dark and we are just going to make it a shade or two darker and perm it.  Things we have been doing for years.  Sam, I am worried the red may give us issues.  I have worked as an artist for 10 years, and l live with an actor so I know what you will be going through.  All I can say is I’m sorry if you get orange hair today until we can get it right.”</p>
<p>Isabella noticed Tom walking in with his hands full.  Getting up Isabella helped him put the bags on the table.  The smile on his face was almost sinister, he looked over at Sam, nodded, then back to me.  “How are you and the little one feeling,” he asked her pulling her to him by the waist.  Running his thumbs across her stomach, he kissed her deeply before she could reply.  </p>
<p>“Same as this morning, just a little nauseous, we are fine, I am working…” she cleared her throat and looked up at his eyes.  </p>
<p>“Have you gotten sick?”  He asked worried and put his left hand to her face making sure Sam saw his ring.  </p>
<p>“A couple of times just getting used to the smells of the salon,” Isabella saw the worry and jealousy in his eyes.  “Thomas, no, you do not get to play that card, do not even go there.  This is my job.  I am not leaving because I got sick.”</p>
<p>“What…I brought food and some ginger ale for you.  Moreover, you need to start wearing a ring, I told you the other night. Don’t argue,  I went and got a ring you can wear while working.  He gave her a gold band which was encrusted with diamonds. He took her hand and put it on her finger and kissed her hand.  “There, now you are set for the day.  Don’t be rude to introduce me to your new clients.” He pulled her to the table.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Isabella is being rude; I am Tom, Tom Hiddleston, Isabella’s husband, a pleasure to meet both of you.”  Tom put his hand out to shake their hands.  “She is right about it is going to take a while to get your hair right.  Took a month to get the “Loki look” right on set, then I got pissed with my hair falling out and flew her L.A. to fix it, but that is what prep is for…”</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah nice to meet you, Sam Heughan, Izzy didn’t tell us she was married,”  Sam replied looking over at Izzy with a questioning look at Toms's behavior, then introducing Caitriona.  “This is Caitriona Balfe, we are the leads in the Outlander project.”  </p>
<p>“Nice to meet you both, sounds like it should be an interesting show.  It crossed my desk but, I couldn’t do it because of my commitment to Marvel.”  Tom told him.  “Looked like an interesting project.  Us Scott’s have got to keep the culture alive.  What clan are you?”</p>
<p>“MacDonald,” Sam looked at him “You’re a Scot?”</p>
<p>“My father was born and raised in Glasgow.  We are clan Douglas, descended from the Black Douglas’s.”  Tom said, “I don’t think I ever told you that,” He turned to his wife and kissed her.  He was being obnoxious in front of Sam and she knew it.  To Tom, it only made it more enjoyable and gave his ego a laugh, and he became more attentive.  </p>
<p>“Your father made sure I knew I was marrying a Scot, remember when he cut my wrist for handfasting at the wedding?”  I rolled my eyes.  “I still have the scar…  Thomas, you need to get to RADA.  You are annoying me and keeping me from working.”  </p>
<p>“Don’t be jealous you can’t be as cool as Sam, over here and me,” Tom laughed, “Your Scandinavian ancestry is interesting too.”  </p>
<p>“It’s made you a millionaire and given you the role of a lifetime, Loki…  Go play God of Mischief somewhere else.  I will call you when we’re finished.”  Isabella gave him a look of death.  </p>
<p>“Good meeting you, make sure she doesn’t overwork herself too much.  Her morning sickness is giving her fits today.”  Tom smiled and held her close he eyes suddenly serious and caring, “I love you, Bella, we will talk later, take care of bug.  Please eat today.”  </p>
<p>“I love you too.”  She rolled her eyes, sighed and kissed him goodbye, He deepened the kiss letting her know he was not happy with having to leave and he meant what he said.  She had never seen him be jealous.  Usually, he was confident enough in their marriage never having to worry about men flirting with her.  Watching him walk out the door, she shook her head, interesting development.  “Well Ladies and Gentlemen that was the “Tom Hiddleston Show” for today, hope you got your money’s worth.  He did bring all of us food so I can’t complain about how much of an ass he was.  Yes, I am 3 months pregnant and we have been married for 5 years.” </p>
<p>“He seemed a little…”  Cat began her voice trailing off.</p>
<p>“Emotional, tired, in pain, he is just a little moody today, jet lag and he is in pain from his training injury, broadsword to the ribs.  I bet he will be calling me at 3:00 pm wanting to go home.  So we better get a move on making you two Jamie and Claire.  But after we eat…  Yes, this man knows me too well; he brought us breakfast burritos from the American deli down the street!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you live with an actor…  Tom Hiddleston is ‘just’ an actor,” Sam laughed at her taking the food she offered.  “Why don’t you use his name?</p>
<p>“Easier.  I was established before we got married and no one was to know after we were married.  I kept my maiden name out of laziness I guess.  He doesn’t care if I use it professionally, legally is what mattered to him.”    </p>
<p>“I am going to give you both some advice, if this thing gets crazy, under no circumstances do something you might regret, or let anyone tell you to live your life in a way to please your fans.  Make the choices you want to make, love the people you want to love.  Decided for yourself what you share.  Don’t let agents, and handlers tell you how to live your life, because it hurts the people you love the most,” Isabella told them cleaning up their breakfast.  </p>
<p>“Where are you from?”  Caitriona asked, “Obviously you are American, where in the States?”</p>
<p>“Sioux City, Iowa.”  Isabella laughed, “If you look at a map it is right where Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota come together.  So upper Midwest, Tom makes fun of my weird American accent.  One, minute it sounds like I am from the South and the next from Sweden or Canada and it jumbled together with the Queen’s English now...  It is a mess.  I tend to pick up accents I hear very easily.  Just wait till I start sounding Scottish or Irish talking to you two.”</p>
<p>Four hours later Isabella was up to her elbows in red hair dye when Tom walked back into the shop.  Isabella and Sam were laughing over something that was said between them.  She was laughing so hard she was crying.  It had been a couple of years since Tom had seen her that happy.  It hit him then just how much work he had to do.  </p>
<p>“Why are you doing back so soon?”  Isabella looked surprised, “I thought you had a read through?</p>
<p>“I left, they canceled all prep for 2 weeks, one of the principals is stuck on a project, plus the director is doing some rewrites.  Plus, I discovered trying to do any type of work out with bruised ribs does not work.  Tom shrugged sitting down in the chair next to her station.  “What was so funny” he yawned.  </p>
<p>“Nothing,” She knew that tone and knew it may cause a problem if she did not change the subject quickly.  “Did you get any prep done?” </p>
<p>“I talked to hair and makeup for a minute.  They were trying to decide what color my hair should be blonde, black, brown.  They wanted to bleach it so they could get it colored just right.  I told them the only person touching my hair after the Loki fiasco was you, and if they bleach it, I will have no hair left.</p>
<p>  “I like it natural.  If they want it blonde, I’m not going to do it until right before the run.  Your hair is still fried.”  She said finishing Sam’s hair.  Will you wash this stuff up for me so once I am done with this we can leave?”  Isabella asked Tom.</p>
<p>“Are you going to be ok when you get home?”  Sam asked worriedly.  “He seems a little tense, it that normal?”</p>
<p>“In the last 72 hours, our once quiet life has changed.  We will not be able to get back our privacy once the statement is released…  He is exhausted; the one thing I will say is I am in no danger.  That man would never hurt me physically.  He has the perfect aristocratic upbringing.”  Isabella replied watching Tom in the washroom.  “Ok, you two we are done for today.  Monday at 9:00 am, we will go for round two.  Let’s meet at the studio.  I want to take some photos after we are done and see how everything looks with the wardrobe.”  </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me,” Sam smiled up at her with his orange hair.</p>
<p>“Sorry, you have orange hair.”  Isabella laughed.  I have to let it set before we try and fix it.”</p>
<p>No problem, you warned me.  Hey, take my phone number.  I would feel better if you did.”  Sam looked at her worried.</p>
<p>“I will take your number because I do need it for work; you have no reason to worry though.”  Isabella smiled hugging his rock hard body.  Isabella didn’t know if it was her pregnancy hormones or Sam that was causing her to feel a twinge of arousal.  “Off with you both.”</p>
<p>Tom watched the embrace from the doorway.  The fact she so warmly hugged him, invited him to touch her, smiled so sweetly at him.  He wanted to punch this guy out for touching his wife.  If this is even an ounce of what Isabella has been feeling he knew just how much pain her heart must harbor toward him.  He had only had to see it for a few minutes today; she had to see it for 5 years.  “Fuck” he hissed and walked out to the shop.  He walked up behind Isabella and placed his hands protectively on her stomach, something he realized was being a natural movement for him. “It was nice to meet you, Sam.” Tom extended a hand, “I am going to have to rely on you to take care of Isabella while I am not there when you are shooting.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I will take care of her.”  Sam nodded shaking the extended hand.  “Izzy, we will see you Monday.  Let me know if you need anything from me before then.”</p>
<p>When Sam and Caitriona left, Isabella elbowed Tom in the stomach and walked away from the embrace.  “Do you think it is professional to embarrass me like you did today in front of my clients?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are right, I was an ass.  I am not going to say I wasn’t jealous because I am, but I think I may understand what you are feeling a little bit.”  Tom began taking her hands.  “I’m sorry for causing that hurt inside of you.  Let’s go home and take a nap.  I think we are both too exhausted to discuss anything important right now, and if we did it would just lead to more anger.” </p>
<p>“Fine, you have a pass for a few hours,” Isabella sighed.  “I’m too tired to argue, and you are not calling our child bug.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had fun writing this chapter.  The next Chapter will be smut.  It will just take me a few days to write it.  I do not write sex scenes very well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom woke up to the smell of something delicious.  Looking at the clock he realized he had been asleep for 3 hours.  Walking down the stairs, he saw his wife in the kitchen making something on the cooker.  She was listening to an American Midwest group; he could never remember the name of them.  He walked up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders rubbing her arms.  “How long have you been up?”</p><p>“About an hour, I’m not jet-lagged like you.”  Isabella smiled, “I am craving American food, so I have Tatter Tot casserole, and I had to make my own tatter tots because you guys have nasty ones here.  They taste like cardboard and don’t brown right, we also have toasted ravioli for the starter and made a Chocolate Cake for dessert.”</p><p>“You are missing home.”  Tom wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.  “We can go back whenever you want.”  </p><p>“Part of me just wants to go home and forget my life here in England.”  Isabella sighed in anger at the loss of her independence this situation has caused.  “I grew up with cornfields, and going to catechism class after school, yelling across the street to see if my best friend wanted to spend the night.  Not, living on sets and going to parties, and sneaking around with my husband so he is not seen with me.  Having to live without you for weeks at a time is getting harder.”  </p><p>“And the next two years are going to be hell.  I have four movies.  He reviled helping her by setting the table “The play is here at least, I’ll be filming in Canada when the baby comes.  I just got the shooting schedule from Christian.”  </p><p>“Fan-fucking-tastic!”  She threw the spoon in her hand across the room. Isabella’s temper was in full display.  “Fuck, I might as well just fucking move back to Iowa.  My husband is going to be in Canada for the birth of our child, won’t be around for 2 years, what the fuck am I to do?  I can’t go following you around the world my child doesn’t deserve a life of a gypsy.”  </p><p>“Our, child” he corrected her.  “Actors make family’s work; look at Chris and his wife.”  </p><p>“They never had to hide this shit, we have.”  Isabella retorted,  </p><p>“Ok, we need to move past, this.”  Tom hissed at her his anger seething.  “You are getting way too upset and would prefer not to spend the night in the hospital because you can’t calm down. I don’t ever want to see you go through that pain again.  I have had to watch you three times in the past.  Never again am I letting you lose our child because of anger.”</p><p>“Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing,”  Isabella replied meaning to hurt him with her words.  </p><p>“Bullshit, what the fuck has gotten into you?”  He grabbed her wrist and twirled her toward him so she would face him.  “If you ever utter those words again I will lock you up until the baby is born and then take it from you.  I have the power to do it.” He hissed in anger, tears forming in his eyes.  “I will so help me god…”</p><p>“I’d like to see you try.”  She drew her hand back and backed away from him, screaming as the tears fell down her face.  </p><p>            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, did I hurt you…  I did not mean to hurt you….  What are we doing?”  Tom sat down, holding his hands in his head, crying.  “Maybe you are right, this isn’t worth saving.  I hoped coming home would save our marriage, I was too late.”  </p><p>            The doorbell rang “Who the fuck is that?”  Isabella questioned she started to get up.   </p><p>            “I don’t know, I’ll get it, you go calm down a minute,” He said getting up to answer the door.  Opening it he almost stroked out.  “Stacey…”</p><p>“Hi lover, aren’t you going to let me in?”  She said walking past him with her bags</p><p>“Get out of my fucking house!”  Tom yelled at her he knew better than to touch her.  She was the type that would claim he assaulted her.  “How the fuck do you know where I live?”</p><p>“Chad didn’t tell you I was coming home?”  Stacey leaned in to kiss him.  Tom moved quickly away from her.</p><p>“You don’t live here, leave now.  This is my house, Chad was fired, whatever little game you are playing with him stops now…”</p><p>“Thomas…”  Isabella walked into the room from the kitchen, she was cleaning up the supper they didn’t’ get a chance to eat before their fight.  </p><p>“Oh, you must be Tommy’s housekeeper.  If you could get me a cup of tea, I am famished after that grueling flight from New York.”</p><p>“No, you bitch, that is my wife, and you know it.  Bella, I have no idea why she showed up….”  Tom when to Isabella and tried to touch her.  She brushed him off.  </p><p>“You, little wanna be valley girl, need to get out of my house before I call the police,”  Isabella said walking toward the blonde.  “Getting arrested for trespassing and harassment is a good way to get kicked out of the UK and never be allowed back.  You have one minute.”</p><p>“I live here now, not you.  I don’t know who you think you are, but Tommy and I are engaged.  Isn’t that right?”  Stacey sang in her sing-song high pitched voice.</p><p>“Really,” Isabella said stopping Tom’s retort which she was “Just when did you get engaged?  I don’t know why he would have done that considering I am his wife, but please tell me all the brilliant details.”</p><p>“Just before he came back here, we went to dinner with Jeremy and he proposed when we took a walk through Central Park, didn’t you, Tom.”  She smiled showing her the cheap gold solitaire diamond ring on her left-hand ring finger.</p><p>“First off, my husband has a hell of a lot better taste jewelry than that piece of Pawnshop shit.  What, Chad couldn’t afford anything better for you?  Secondly, when you make up a lie make sure there is some truth to it.”  Isabella began walking toward her getting right in her face.  “Thing is Tom told me about the fiasco at the restaurant, and Jeremy called me and confirmed he took tom back to the hotel that night and took him right to the airport.  Plus, we have the video from that night.  Either you leave and never come around again or you are going to jail.  Take your pick…”</p><p>“Police are already on the way,”  Tom said, he had called the authorities while Isabella was talking.  “ETA 2 minutes, so you might as well stay.  Make sure you give them your side of the story.  Oh, you might want to call Chad now to get you a lawyer and have them meet you at the station.”</p><p>Stacey was arrested, and taken into custody; a restraining order for 30 days was issued for Stacey and Chad. Both Tom and Isabella gave their statements to the police.  It was over an hour before the house was silent again. When the police left Tom saw Isabella walk up to their bedroom; he heard the clink of the lock.  </p><p>“Fuck!” he cried out at the top of his lungs and ran up the steps to the room.  Knocking on the door, “Isabella, please let me in.  Please…” he said softly while he laid his head against the door.  “Please, my love.  Open the door.”  There was no response; he didn’t hear anything inside the room but her crying, which was not matching his.  Tom popped the lock and opened the door.   </p><p>What he saw made him race to the bed she laid in.  Her body was in the fetal position, she was in the middle of an anxiety attack.  He picked her up and held her.  “Shoo, shoo, deep breaths.”  He rocked her.  He noticed her hands clenching in almost a claw-like grip.  “Come on now love, don’t do that.”  He had been with her before though these attacks and know when her hands started to get this way it was time to get her some medication. “If you don’t try and breathe for me I will take you to the hospital.  All I need you to do is breathe, listen to mine.”  Tom said trying to get her to follow his breathing pattern.   “There you go, baby.  Shhh…  I love you.”  He kissed her temple.  “No one is going to come between us, no one,”  Tom told her rocking Isabella as her breathing returned to a normal rate.  </p><p>Isabella had heard Tom give his statement to the police.  There was more than she knew he had been dealing with.  Chad was trying to blackmail him, trying to ruin his career.  He didn’t want her to know what was going on, he didn’t want to worry her.  “I’m okay,” she sat up and looked into his eyes.  She could see he had been crying too.  “You never told me what you were dealing with…  Now I feel like I wasn’t there for you. “  </p><p>“Shh… No, talking.”  Tom whispered kissing her softly then deepening the kiss.  I want to show you just how much I love only you.  No words can explain how deep my love is for you.  Will you let me…?  Isabella Marie, let me make love to you.”  He asked as he moved on top of her between her legs kissing her neck.  </p><p>“Yes…”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Choice and Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A little smutty.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The first attempt at smut, please be nice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom ran his hands under her back pulling up her shirt, taking it off.  He undid the front clasp of her bra.  Her new body was driving him insane.  Her breasts fell out into his hands.  Taking them he began sucking and licking her nipples devouring them until the nipples were hard and Isabella was moaning under him.</p><p>            Isabella’s hands went down his back pulling up his shirt, tugging at it Tom stopped his manipulation of her breast and removed his shirt.  “Do you like that my love?”  Tom asked as he removed the remaining clothes she had on and his. </p><p>            Now naked, he laid next to her, he took her leg and put it over his hip.  She could feel his hardness on her stomach.  He took the time to kiss her softly and deeply.  “We have all night, I plan on making love to you softly, and slowly showing you just how much I love you.”  His hand went down in between them and found her wet.  “Hum, I see you were liking that, how about this?”  He dipped his fingers into her to wet them and began rubbing her clit in a pattern he knew would get the reaction he was wanted to coax out of her.   </p><p>            “Ohhh, hmmm,” was all Isabella could manage to say.  Isabella began to rub her hips against his fingers trying to get more.</p><p>            “Oh, my baby wants some more.  Would you like me to suck you, nip you with my teeth?  Tom whispered in my ear.  As he continued and took two fingers and slid them into her testing to make sure she was ready for him or if he needs to continue his foreplay.  After 7 years of being with Isabella, he knew what she needed and when.  “I think you would rather have me inside you,” Tom said using his fingers to hit her g-spot.  He crossed and uncrossed his fingers inside her, twisting them hitting her spot.</p><p>            Isabella moaned in delight, she was almost there and he had just playing with her,  “Yes, please I need you…”</p><p>            “I can tell, you are so wet my love, I love you that you still get so wet for me with the smallest touch after all this time.  He continued his assault on her.  “I want to be inside of you, will you let me be inside you?”  He kissed her softly against her neck. </p><p>            “Yes,” was all Isabella could manage when he entered her.</p><p>            “I love you” Tom whispered looking directly in her eyes as he slowly moved in and out of Isabelle’s slickness.  Kissing her, he could feel her start to tighten around him, her breathing started to get erratic, the telltale sign she was getting ready to cum.  She moaned and started rocking against him.  He took her breast in his mouth and played with her nipple causing her to gasp and she started squeezing and releasing him causing him to be close to the edge.  “Cum with me Bella, please my love….  Cum with me, I need to feel you, I love you so much.”  That was all it took, they came together in a way they never had. </p><p>            He made love to her, truly made love to her for the first time in years. He put every emotion he could feel into the coupling. Isabella could feel it and matched his emotion.  By the third time, Isabella was exhausted physically and emotionally.</p><p>            Their lovemaking that night was soft and slow, angry and hard, comedic and tragic.  They laughed and cried, and held each other.  Physically between the two of them, they tried to work out every emotion possible. </p><p>            Somewhere in the middle of the night, Isabella found her forgiveness, it wasn’t all Tom’s fault.  She had her part in their marriage too.  She had become selfish; a victim of having to follow what everyone else wants her to do.  What she wanted were her husband, her baby, and her job.  Damn it she was going to get it all.  The time had come to participate in her marriage not just act like a wife.</p><p>            “I can hear you thinking,”  Tom muttered half asleep.  “Tell me.”</p><p>            “I’m hungry,” she replied untangling from his arms.  Getting up she putts on a rob, “Come to the kitchen and eat with me, I want to tell you something and you know my rule about discussions in bed.” </p><p>            “Go warm up what you made for supper and I’ll be out there in a minute,”  Tom told her.  When they were first married they made the rule the bedroom was not to be a place to have angry or hard conversations.  She believed the angry emotions would stay in the room.  He couldn’t disagree with her, he threw on his boxer and a tee shirt. </p><p>            When Tom got to the kitchen Isabella was putting the food on the table and getting their drinks.  “Sit,” Tom told her and brought the drinks to the table.  “Are you ok?  I wasn’t too rough for you or the baby was I?”  Tom still worried about miscarriage when they had sex, and they did get a little rough when the anger between them came. </p><p>            “No, so far so good,” Isabella smiled she took his hand across the table.  “I need to get this out so please let me talk.  I want to say first you asked me to forgive you.  I do.  Tonight was one of the worst nights of our marriage when Stacey showed up.  I was, for the first time; ready to walk out on you.  I didn’t after hearing what you told the police…  You never told me she stalked you.”  I said to Tom concerned.  “Why would you not tell me that?”</p><p>            “First thank you for staying and not leaving, for listening, and most of all forgiving me,” he kissed their joint hand.  “Because keeping you away, kept her away from you.  I felt I was protecting you, keeping you safe, she didn’t know who you were. No one ever knew who you were.   Chad must have told Stacey the story.”</p><p>            “We physically worked through a lot of emotions tonight, now I want to tell you what I am going to do.  I feel I need to apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness too.  I am half of this marriage and let you and someone else dictate what our marriage should be.  I see where you were coming from and why you came back, you are right, this is us, our lives.   I need to fight for us too and that is what I want.  I want you; the baby and I want to do my job.  We can make it work if we both decided to fight.”</p><p>            She finally got it.  Tom thought.  She found the old Isabella, the fighter, the one that didn’t let anyone fuck her over.  “There is nothing to forgive, you know I want this, I will support you like you have supported me all these years.  Yes, these next two years will be hell with our jobs, it’s a good problem to have, but it is something going forward we have to take a look at and plan better.” </p><p>            “I really do love you, Thomas, “ Isabella told him sincerely.  “Tomorrow will you call Christian and tell him everything.  They have to be able to help us, it was their agent who started all this they have to have some sort of way to fix it.  Otherwise, you find another agent.”</p><p>            “I should wake his ass up now.”  Tom sighed taking his hand back and looking at the clock.  It was midnight.  “I’ll wait though.  I do have a surprise for you though.  We are going on a long weekend.  I rented us a place in Wales on the coast, out of the way; we can go for walks along the beach, and hills or just stay in bed.  There is a small village down the road we can go to for dinner and shopping.   We leave tomorrow and come back Sunday in time for dinner with Mum and the family.”</p><p>            “Like a second honeymoon.”  I smiled at him taking a bite of my food. </p><p>            “I want to renew our vows, just me and you, find a place that seems worthy.  Just recommit to each other you, me and God.”  Tom began as he was eating. </p><p>            “I think recommitting to each other would be a great idea.  You know I love the coast so we will find our place.  Once we do, we will have to come back every year.”  Isabella smiled and held his hand, “we are telling the family and everyone Sunday?”</p><p>            “I’m thinking tomorrow, we can make phone calls on our way to Wales.”  Tom smiled.  I am going to tell Christian he is going to have a statement out by 2:00 pm tomorrow.  We should be out of London by then.”</p><p>            “Sneaky boy.”  I yawned.  </p><p>            “Love we need to get you to bed. We have a long drive tomorrow. I want to leave around 10.”  Tom said pulling her up and carrying her to bed.  “I’ll clean this up.  I want you to take these next four days as easily as you can.  Let me cater to you.”</p><p>            “I am going to still cook.  You are not the best cook.”  Isabella laughed as he put her on the bed.  You can make breakfast.” </p><p>            “True, sleep well my love, I’ll be up in a bit.”  Tom kissed her and when downstairs.  He looked upstairs and pulled out his phone and called Christian. “Christian glad you answered I was just going to leave you a voice mail.  I need your help.  The woman that was hired by Chad to be my beard showed up at my house around 7 pm tonight.  She was arrested for harassment and trespassing. </p><p>            “What the hell?  Why didn’t you call me right away?”  Christian yelled into the phone. </p><p>            “She stated Chad had told her that she was to move in, I left my wife for her, and she made up a story about us getting engaged.  She even had a ring.”  Tom began, “I had to keep my wife calm and keep her from leaving me. We need help, a lot of help.  Tomorrow at 2 pm I want you to make a statement saying I am married and we are going to have a baby in the spring.  We are telling our family in the morning.  I will be posting a picture of us on social media at 3 pm to verify the story.”  Tom told him.  “He threatened my family, my wife almost left me tonight, she would have taken my child away from me.  I am not allowing that to happen.”</p><p>            “I understand I will call legal right away and get security around your house.”  Christian sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me she is pregnant?”<br/>
“We were going to wait as long as we could.  We have lost 3 pregnancies in the past 5 years.  We are past the just past the three month mark.   We are going out of town for the rest of the week, it is a secluded place, and I don’t want anyone to know where we will be.  I will be in touch, I will meet up with you on Monday so we can go over any strategies.”  Tom explained as he cleaned up the kitchen.  “I’m headed back to bed. Sorry to bother you this late.”</p><p>            “Tom, I am beyond sorry for what has happened.  I will fix this, I just need a little information on her…”</p><p>            “Her name is Isabella she is a makeup artist currently the lead artist for the new Outlander series.  We met 7 years ago, married for 5…”  Tom began to give him information.</p><p>“You are married to Izzy Murray?”  Christian asked in shock.  “Ok, I will take care of this for you.  Tom take some time, do what you need to do.”</p><p>            Tom hung up the phone and went to the bedroom, his beautiful wife was sleeping in the middle of the bed, and blankets bundled up around her.  He took a couple of pictures and laughed at her grumble in her sleep as he lay next to her.   He wasn’t giving this up for anything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. One Step Forward, One Step Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry so long Time since I posted, computer issues.   My formatting isn’t working right either ugh....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The house Tom rented in Wales was in Tenby, right on the coast.  It was a beautiful farmhouse</p><p> set on a private beach.  Isabella smiled out toward the sea from the back window, Tom came up to to</p><p> her and wrapped his arms around her.  Resting his chin on her shoulder, Isabella leaned back into his</p><p> chest.  “Let’s go for a walk on the beach.” She nodded yes and they grabbed their coats.  Nothing much </p><p>was said until they reached the waters edge.</p><p>“When is the statement being released?”  Isabella asked toeing the sand.  </p><p>“In a few minutes”. Tom said taking her hand.  “We never take selfies, will you take one with</p><p> me?  I want to post it.  I’m going to take a few different pictures of us and post a few things.”</p><p>“Becoming a photographer?”  She questioned.</p><p>“I should take that up…” Tom thought. “It would come in handy.”  </p><p>“If we are going public, might as well get our pictures out there.”  Isabella shrugged.</p><p>	Tom had her in different poses and they set up the camera to take pictures of the two of them.  They were running up and down the beach taking pictures and playing like teenagers.  The sun started to set and Tom snapped smile a picture of Isabella looking out to sea with a smile He had not seen in awhile. The sun was giving her the most amazing glow.  This was the picture.  He opened up his Instagram. Posting the picture he captioned it. “7 years ago I met you, 5 years ago I married you, this year our life is changing.  I love you, Isabella, you are my heart, my soul, my partner.  You have more strength than any person I know.”  #youareglowing #mybeautifulbella #myworld  he added a picture of the two of them kissing on the beach and tagged her in the post.</p><p>Isabella took a picture of Tom crouched down by the water looking out to sea at sunset, with a shell in his hand.  It was the perfect picture of him.  The man she fell in love with, posting it she wrote.  “This is the man I fell in love with so many years ago, who convinced me to say yes 5 years ago.  My husband who grounds me, held me and loved me through both pain and happiness.  4th time is the charm.  I love you Tom, you give me my strength.” #finallydreamscometrue  #mylove #myreason #mysoulmate</p><p>	“What shit storm did we just create?”  I laughed “We basically just came out as married and pregnant and no one knew we we’re together.”<br/>	“I know I just could not do this any longer.”  He kissed me as we walked into the house..  “Let’s go make dinner, put on a fire and relax.  This weekend is about us reconnecting.  You need to go lie down on the couch  We did a lot of walking today I don’t want you over doing it.  I’ll make us some dinner.”  <br/>	“I can do it, plus it is easy. I brought our meals so we don’t have to go anywhere. I can control what me and baby eat,  I think the beef and barley soup and the bread I brought”. <br/>	“I can heat up soup.  Go sit down, please.” He asked getting the food out.  “You are going to  get upset when I say this but I don’t care.  I am asking you to take it really easy, I cannot go through us losing another child again.  I don’t think our marriage would survive it. I want to talk about his more but you need to go sit down.  I’ll wam this up and we can talk.”<br/>	“ Nodding she went to the living room and sat down.  Checking her phone she noticed all the messages from people.  She’d get to them later.  Opening a message from Sam she smiled </p><p>Sam:  Wow, you made news today, every thing ok?</p><p>Isabella:  Staying off social media until I am forced to deal with it.  Had too wonderful of a day to worry about backlash.</p><p>Sam: They changed the stuff Monday to Tuesday, I just got word.  Let’s meet for lunch.<br/>Isabella. Bit her bottom lip.  She wanted to say yes, but knowing the press right now…. “I don’t think that is a good idea right now.  You don’t understand the press yet.  I’m going to stay home, Tom and I have some things we need to do. Thanks though.”</p><p>Sam: k, see you Tuesday.</p><p>“Who was that?”  Tom asked bringing in the food.<br/>“Sam telling me I am off until Tuesday.  He wanted to go to lunch on Monday.  I told him we had things we need to do.”<br/>“So you lied to him?”  Tom asked knowing they had nothing planned.<br/>“No, the thing we need to do is be together.”  I told him.  “This next month there will be death threats, people stalking me, you name it.  We need to put a plan together with Christian and, Luke.”  I told him.  “We have been at this far too long to not know the next steps. If I had my choice I would stay at home for the next year and not leave the house.”  I sighed.  “Plus, I need to go shopping for new clothes, and I really need new bras.”<br/>“Can I help pick the new bras?” His eyes laughed. <br/>“You really want to go maternity shopping with me?”  I asked him.<br/>“I’m going to miss a lot of things in the next 6 months,  I promise you I will not miss our child’s birth, so anything we can do together I will do it.”  He leaned in and kissed her.  <br/>“Do we need a new house?”  I asked him not wanting to think about him being gone. “I have no idea if where we live is a good school area or what…”<br/>	“It is fine for now.” He took the bowls and put them in the kitchen.  “How are you feeling?”<br/>	“Tired, my stomach muscles are sore, my boobs hurt, I’m cramping a little but not in a bad way.” I told him laying against him.  <br/>	“Are you bleeding?”  He asked in concern, “If you are even just a drop I am taking to A&amp;E.”</p><p>“Really lightly,” I told him yawing.  “It’s normal.  My body is just making room and stretching. I’m not concerned right now.”<br/>“Don’t be a hero.” He tapped her on the head with his finger.  “The only time I want to be in hospital with you is when you are delivering.”<br/>“You’re nothing to be here anyway.” I shrugged.  “You are going to to be in Canada filming.”  <br/>“If you think I won’t be there, that I would miss my wife giving birth to our child because of work, you do know me at all.”  He sat up and removed himself from the where they were sitting.  “Do you really believe that?  You you really believe I don’t love you, or our child?”</p><p>“Honestly, no I don’t, I think your career is more important to you.”  I told him.  “I do believe you care, but you stopped living me a long time ago.”</p><p>“I never stopped loving you.  Do you know why I called you three times a day?”  He asked, “I needed to hear your voice, every night after we spoke I cried because I couldn’t be with you.  I knew you needed me, I knew you were drowning in our grief.  I was grieving too,  I blamed you for not loving us enough to keep pregnant, I blamed God, I blamed the doctors for everything your body went through.  Finally, that night Jeremy said something to me.  He remembered when he first met you. when we were filming Avengers, he loved you so much and would ask me why we kept it a secret.  Tonight after the incident he asked me why I was cheating on you.?”  Tom began.  “I have never had sex with anyone else since you and I got together 7 years ago.  Have I kissed other women?  Not the same way I kiss you.  If I did it was for show.”<br/>“Did you ever kiss any of your women when you were drunk?  Did you kiss them and stop yourself because you felt guilty for doing it?”  I asked him, “Or did you justify it by telling yourself you were following Chad’s plan?”</p><p>“Both, I guess.”  He sighed,  “There was a time I questioned if leaving would be easier.  I couldn’t do it.”</p><p>“When?”  I asked, my heart breaking.  The cramps in my stomach started to get stronger as my anxiety increased.  </p><p>“Last year, after I got back from the Avengers premier in Australia.”  He began sitting down next to her on the couch.  “We went to dinner that night and I almost broke my vows.  You were working on set somewhere.  I thought someone else was what I wanted, she asked me back to her room, I couldn’t do it.  I came home and got drunk.  I couldn’t leave you.  I love you, only you.  I always have.”  Tom began. “The whole point to this weekend was to get out of London, relax and take a couple strolls on the beach.  When was the last time you left the house? When you came and saw me in New York?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I shrugged. “No reason to leave really.  I was working on the boards for Outlander.”<br/>	“You stopped running, haven’t been out of the house… why that is not you?”<br/>	“Because I knew I was pregnant when I came to see you.”  I told him.  “I didn’t want to get your hopes up if something happened.”<br/>	“So you lied to me?  If I would have known I’d been here a month ago.  I would have worked in London.”  <br/>	“I did not want you here.”  I explained.  “If it didn’t stick, you would have never known.”  I went to my purse and pulled out some papers.  I went to the lawyer, I had papers drawn up for divorce.  I never filed them.”<br/>	“What the fuck Isabella?” He yelled grabbing the papers looking at them, the reason listed for was adultery.  “This is bullshit.”  He tore up the papers.  <br/>“I didn’t go through with it, I couldn’t.”  I replied softly.<br/>“Why?”  He demanded.  “You were obviously ready to do it,  were you going to even tell me about the baby?”</p><p>	“I didn’t think I would get this far,  my track record is not the best.” I began, “I was angry, I felt betrayed by you.  If you saw those pictures and it was me, would you not be angry?  We have been on the edge for the last year.  You even said you were thinking about cheating on me.  You admitted to almost sleeping with someone.  We both deep down don’t want this marriage Tom.  We can’t fix this.  We will be great parents, but how can we be married as husband and wife.  We never have been.  Hell we were closer when we were dating, than we are now.”</p><p>	“Not going to happen, we can fix this.  Two of the films I’m doing next year you can join me.  One is in the US, 3 month shoot.  You could stay with your parents and I could fly to NC from Louisiana on the down times.  The other is in Belfast.”  He began.  “Please, give us 2 years.  Let me show you we can work this out.”<br/>	“Why, I don’t trust you to change.”  I began to cry “Fucking hormones.  I need you here.  You can’t be here…. For once in our marriage I need you.  I never asked you to stay.”<br/>	“I am here in London for the until February.”  Tom told her sitting down.  “I’ll fly out your mom, have my mom or Emily stay with you when I am away.  I will talk to the director and see if I can shoot as fast as possible.  I will be here.”<br/>	“Don’t make me promises, when is the last time you kept one?”  I asked him.<br/>	“That’s not fair and you know it.”  He sighed running his hands through his hair.  “This is different, this is my child. I’m not missing it’s birth.”  <br/>	“It will come when it wants to, it won’t wait 20 hours until you arrive.” I explained,  “We can choose a due date, but it may not abide by that time frame.  You will be in Canada, get it?”  </p><p>“Do you want me to drop out of the movie?”  He asked.  </p><p>“Yes, I do.”  I told him.  “I can just consult for Outlander and do the treatments and stay in London.  If you back out. I will stay here in London.”</p><p>“But, you won’t give up your job.”  He hissed.</p><p>	“You know all I would be doing is research and drawing.  I’ll be working from home.”  I said.  Why don’t you take this time to write a script, or find some projects to produce.  Please anything that keeps you here, please.”  I cried. “I have never begged you for anything, if you love me, please don’t leave me right now.”</p><p>	She never asked him for anything, “I will see what I can do.”  He sighed and tried to hold her, she got out of bed.  “What?”  <br/>	“I am going to sleep…”<br/>	“Get back in bed, don’t start that shit, you are not sleeping in another room .  You need to rest  and  the only time you are allowed to stand is to use the bathroom, take a shower, and move to the couch.  For the next 24 hours that  is it...  I’ll carry you to the couch. If need be.”  He pulled her back to bed.  “Let me do what I can while I can.”  He sighed not knowing what he could do to keep his family together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tom didn’t sleep at all that night.  Isabella fell asleep on his chest in his arms.  He thought he would call Christian to see if he could get out of the movie, he hoped they understood.  Every thought he had, ended in her leaving.  His eyes burned from the tears those thoughts brought.  Looking at the clock he noticed it was 5 am, sliding out of bed he decided to take a run on the beach before everyone woke up.  He kept replying the conversation, she truly has never asked him for a thing.  Bella was stubbornly independent, everything in her life was because she worked for it.  Maybe that was why he couldn’t understand how to fix things.  She had asked him to stay, he understood why, but he would be giving up his career.  She was having to give up hers too, he had Marvel to fall back on he knew but this was his time.  He knew Christian would be up, the man was at the office by 5:30 each morning looking at his watch it was half six.</p>
<p>“Christian sorry to call you so early, I need your help.  I need out of a movie.  It is important, I cannot be in Canada and miss the birth of my child, or my wife’s pregnancy.  I just can’t.”  Tom began almost pleading, “Please my marriage depends on it.  You owe me this.”</p>
<p>	“I was wondering when you would call.  I don’t blame you at all.” Christian sighed, “My wife would have left me already.”</p>
<p>	“Well, Isabella has divorce papers ready to be filed, she showed them to me.  I take my responsibility in this situation, but…. I am not losing her, she will take everything and leave and our child. I can’t lose them.”</p>
<p>“I will get you out of this, it is the least I can do.”  Christian assured him.  </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Tom said looking back at the house and hung up.  .  He saw the kitchen light on and sighed.  He knew she didn’t sleep well, he had laid with her enough to know she was having nightmares again. When they were first dating she was working on District 9, she had nightmares for months after filming all he could do was hold her.  She was stressed he knew, this time because of his actions, not monsters from a movie.  He cursed himself and looked up to the sky, “Don’t do this to us again, we cannot handle anymore of this…. You know what we have been through please just give us some peace, give us some happiness.”</p>
<p>I watched him from the window, I could tell he was talking to Christian, this body language told me as much.  He was pacing, worried, then he started shouting.  I couldn’t hear what he was saying.  I watched him walk back to the house from the window.  As he entered our eyes met.</p>
<p>	“Grab a coat and put on some shoes, we are going to the beach.”  He told her with a determination in his eyes I hadn’t seen before.</p>
<p>I nodded and did what he asked.  He held my hand as he lead me to the water.  Stopping at the shore line he stood in front of me taking my hands in his.  His fingers playing with my rings.  Looking down at our hands for a moment he looked in to my eyes.</p>
<p>“We are recommitting to each other here and now at dawn, just you and me.”  He began  I called Christian and got out of the movie, you said this is what I needed to do.  I love you.”  He got down on one knee, “I know my words mean little right now but, you and our child are the two things on my life that I care about and love most. Here right now between you me and God, I will never put anything before us.  I want to take back the burden I put on you to keep our marriage alive.  I have not lived up to what you deserve as a husband.  There is nothing more I want out of life than you as my wife and partner.  I recommit, or more rightly because of my actions, commit to you truly for the first time.”  He stood up and pulled me to him wrapping his arms around my waist, leaning in he kissed me.  I promise you I will love you to my dying day.”  Tom leaned in and kissed her.</p>
<p>“Heavy is the head that wears the crown…”. I began with a sigh. “I’m tired and can’t do this alone.  Thank you for pulling out of the movie, I need you.  I could of have this hissy fit years ago, so I know I am at part to blame…. We owe it to each other to make this work for the baby.  I will work on trying not to let the past get to me.”  I leaned in and put my head on his chest.  “You know I love you, I will commit to us again too.”  I leaned back and looked him in the eye.  “I want a new start, new house, neighborhood everything.”</p>
<p>“I think that is a great idea.”  He smiled.  “Do you like this place?  I mean as a vacation spot to come to.”</p>
<p>“Needs a few updates but yes, I like the privacy, and it is beautiful.”  I questioned looking at him.  </p>
<p>‘Well I chose this place because the owner wants to sell it.”  He smiled. “Would you like it?  Nice thing about Wales is this property is only $350,000 pounds.  Well with in our budget.”  </p>
<p>“Let me think about, right now I just want to be held by my husband as the sun comes up.”</p>
<p>After the sun was up they walked back to the house.  Tom sat her down at the counter while he made breakfast.  “What were your nightmares about last night?”  He asked me.  “You were whimpering and crying, I couldn’t wake you.”</p>
<p>“I was giving birth and I was alone.”  I told him,  “I don’t remember much.  I noticed neither of us got much sleep last night.”  </p>
<p>“Well, now no need to worry about that,” he smiled handing her a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.  “Eat before you start getting sick, then we are opening those doors in the bedroom, letting the sea air in and going back to bed.  Neither of us are doing a thing today other than relax.  Maybe, just maybe you might get lucky today.”  </p>
<p>“Can we start looking at houses?”  I want to be moved in and renovated before the baby comes.”  I asked as we ate.</p>
<p>“I’ll call a realtor Monday,”  he replied looking at me.</p>
<p>“You are scarring me, what?” I asked him.</p>
<p>“I was just thinking I need a shower, and how I need you to help me with it.”  He smiled, ”Then I know you want to sleep in my shirt, although I think it maybe too small in the chest now.”  </p>
<p>”You are cracking jokes about my boobs at 7 in the morning.”  I eyed him.</p>
<p>“I fully intend to enjoy them and your body today.  Remember our honeymoon?  Yeah, be ready.”  He pulled her to the shower.  “I plan to ravish you on more than one occasion today.”</p>
<p>“Well the third person in this relationship may not agree.”  I said pointing to my stomach.  </p>
<p>“We have an understanding,” Smiling he turned on the shower and taking off his clothes. “You better take those clothes off, you are about to get wet.”</p>
<p>“Way to early for double entendres my dear.”  I rolled my eyes taking off my clothes and joined him in the shower.  Lord this boy was going to worm his way back to good faster than I’m ready for.  </p>
<p>“I love you that you think I was implying something.  No double entendres about it.  I plan for you to cum all over me too.  I know exactly what to do to make you scream my name.  If I don’t know that after 7 years with you, you should divorce me.”  Tom kissed her under the spray.  “Sorry little one you are going to have to plug your ears and close your eyes right now…”</p>
<p>“We are not talking about ‘IT’ right now…” I laughed as he held me against the wall and took me to the one place he only could, complete ecstasy.</p>
<p>“Tell me about This Outlander job.”  Tom asked as we curled up in bed together, ”If you wanted to work up in Scotland for a couple months, it is a short plane ride home. On the weekends.  I could come up there too, maybe until Christmas?”  </p>
<p>”You would agree to that?”  I asked him in shock.</p>
<p>”With two conditions, first if it doesn’t affect your health, second you will be my date to the Dark world premiere.”  Tom smiled.  ”You know rehearsals are a pain in the ass, and I am not a pleasant person to be around.”</p>
<p>”I will definitely be showing by then.”  I said out loud more to myself than to him.  ”Yes, I will go with you. ”</p>
<p>”She said yes!” Tom yelled then turned to tickle her.  ” I called mom and canceled dinner, I want a little more alone time with you since we don’t have to be back till Monday now.”</p>
<p>”Thank you, I am not ready for people yet.”  I yawned.  ”Get your iPad, let’s look for houses.”  </p>
<p>”Well I am buying this one.”  He told her,  ”And you have no say.”</p>
<p>”I do like this place, we need to do a lot, the kitchen and bathrooms are horrible.  The location though, amazing.  I want a traditional Welsh farmhouse, but modern fixtures and child friendly”</p>
<p>”Anything you want.”  He laughed.  ”About London, we do need to stay in North London. ”  </p>
<p>”I need a studio and want a huge closet with a dressing and make up area.  Plus a functional kitchen, you Brits put the appliances in the worst places.  I’m not walking clear across a kitchen do strain my pasta water from the stove, or to get something from the refrigerator. Plus a walk in pantry.”</p>
<p>”Cooker, ” he laughed.  ”Anything else?”</p>
<p>”5-6 bedrooms, and a large garden.”  I added.</p>
<p>”I’ll look to see if there are any new developments to build.  Maybe something we can totally redesign.”  He sighed, he was going to give her what she wanted.  He owed her that much.  ”I need an office, I ’d like to put in a home recording studio.  While I’m on my leave I could do some voice recordings.”  </p>
<p>”That is a great idea.”  I smiled.  ”I was thinking this would be a good time for me to start working on getting my British citizenship.”</p>
<p>”Would you get dual citizenship?”  Tom asked it had been a few years since she mentioned it.</p>
<p>”Yes, I want our kids to have both US and British citizenship.”  I turned to look at him.  ”Makes it easier for them when they get older.  If they want to choose later they can but, I want to give them that choice.”  </p>
<p>”I’ll get our lawyer to start the process.”  He smiled.  ”You said kids…   You want more than one?  </p>
<p>”I always wanted a couple of kids.”I smiled.  ”I don’t want to ship my kids off to school at a young age though.  I didn’t grow up that way.  I understand if we have a boy he will go to Eton, that is your family’s history for generations.”</p>
<p>”The British system is very different from the States. If we move to Oxford the school I went to is both boarding and a day school.”  He began, ”Do you realize that this is the first time we have had a real conversation about our lives together in years.”  Tom explained. ”I don’t want us to get to this point again.”</p>
<p>” I’ll concede on that point if I get the house I want.”  I smiled.  ”Jesus, I would have never thought my kids would grow going to insanely posh schools, living in Oxford, England.”</p>
<p>”You grew up in small-town Iowa, but your school was kind of posh.  You had a planetarium, a pool and full on sports courts with a track.  You lived on the rich side of town my dear.”  Tom reminded her.</p>
<p>”Do you really want to compare my regular school education to your posh English public school one?”  I challenged him.  </p>
<p>”Honey, you are far from an averaged educated American.”  He laughed, ”You went to NYU and Columbia for god’s sake.  You majored in Fine Arts and have an MBA.  Don’t even try to convince me you are under-educated compared to me.  Who would keep my books?  Lord knows I can’t.  You are the maths person and I am the literature geek.”</p>
<p>”Anyone who can quote the works of Ancient Greek philosophers in Greek is a geek.” I responded.</p>
<p>”Says the artist who can tell if one shade of blue is darker than another and is a freaking walking calculator.” He laughed in response.  ”Which is why I love you, you can style me make me look like Loki or dress me for a premier and do my accounting all in one night.”</p>
<p>”We have different talents.”  I laughed as he continued to tickle me.  ”Let’s go to town for lunch,  if we buy here I need to know what town is like.”</p>
<p>”I don’t want to go out there, let’s walk around the property.  We have been to the beach and puttered around the house, but not the land.  I want to make sure it’s not hiding a landfill, or toxic dump.”</p>
<p>”I just need to get out and get some fresh air.”  I told him, putting on some clothes.  ”So over-under on gagging when I brush my teeth?”</p>
<p>”What?”  Tom laughed.</p>
<p>”I haven’t been sick all day.  Watch I brush my teeth and bam!”  I laughed as I began to brush my teeth.  </p>
<p>”That lasted 10 seconds”  Tom sighed  ”I will not miss this part of your pregnancy.”</p>
<p>”You… I’m very much over it.”  I told him walking out of the bathroom.  ”Your spawn is letting me know who is in charge, little does it know I run this family.”</p>
<p>”Yes, love.”  Tom laughed getting dress…  ”Grab my backpack, let’s have a picnic”</p>
<p>”Go pack it, ” I laughed at him, ”I’ll get drinks.”  </p>
<p>”Yes, love.”</p>
<p>”Is that going to be your answer for everything today?”  I asked eyeing him.</p>
<p>”Yes, love.” He said with a cheeky grin and rolled his eyes., ”Let’s go Bella, time to look at our new place.”  </p>
<p>They walk around the property finding nothing but amazing vistas and trails. There was a brook that emptied into the sea with a little waterfall.  They stopped there and had lunch.  Most of the lunch was spent in that comfortable happy silence only two people who were content in each other's company knew.  Isabella leaned back into Tom, he wrapped his arms around her.  Looking out into the sea the sound was relaxing and soothing.</p>
<p>”This is our spot, ” I sighed in contentment.  ”This is where we will come to relax.”</p>
<p>”I see us here at Christmas, building our own traditions. Our families coming and enjoying this place, us getting away from our reality.  This is where we will come to ground us, where our marriage and family started over.”</p>
<p>”I like that, we should come up with a name for this place, like those old houses in London.”  I turned in his arms.  ”You are the wordsmith, come up with something.  Because the Hiddleston Manor sounds a little pretentious.”  </p>
<p>”Ok, the symbol of Wales is a dragon, I am an Old Dragon, how about…” He thought for a minute, ”Dragonwood by the sea.  We have the woods out back…”</p>
<p>”That is kind of cool, can you legally name a house here?”  I asked. ”How does that even happen?”</p>
<p>”My list to the lawyer keeps getting longer.”  He chucked kissing me.  ”I don’t ever want to leave this place.”</p>
<p>”We can sell everything, you can work one or project a year, I can do design boards…”  I began.</p>
<p>”That would be a no.”  Tom laughed getting up and pulled me up into a hug.  ”Is it too early to start thinking about names?”</p>
<p>”I had a thought, my mom’s maiden name is Jensen,  that works for both boy or girl.”  I said.  ”Jensen Thomas, or Jensen Marie.”  </p>
<p>”I love those. ”  Tom kissed her cheek.  ”Lets walk back by the way of the beach, we can collect some shells.” </p>
<p>”Cool.  Can we please drive around town a bit?  I’m feeling cooped up.  I love the peace here but I need to see the town to get feel for it before I sign papers for the house.   I begged him.</p>
<p>”Alright, let’s go.”  He sighed packing up the picnic, ”Before we go I need to ask you something, are we better?  I know we still have a lot to work on but we are making all these plans and changes.  I don’t want to wake up tomorrow find you gone. ”</p>
<p>”I told you, I am completely committed to us.” I assured him. ”I no more secrets, broken promises, we communicate and put our marriage and each other first.  We can’t just go on accepting jobs without talking about the impact on our family.”</p>
<p>”I’m contracted to do whatever Marvel asks of me.”  He reminded her.</p>
<p>”That is different, ”  I explained.  ”Loki is your bread and butter, those first couple years we were married were a struggle for us financially and yet we were our happiest.  Thor brought us money and your fame, but killed our marriage.  Now, we can bring a child into the world and not have to worry about how we are going to pay for it’s education and upbringing.  We just have to find away to keep Baby J and each other happy and healthy.”</p>
<p>”Baby J, huh, nope not going to work.  Gives a clue to its name.  Bug, you can’t stop me.”  Tom laughed as they walked into the house.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Scotland</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Isabella and Tom take the first steps to try and repair the past.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, this took so long.  A little writers block. I edited this chapter, somehow it double posted chapter 10.  I deleted it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>&lt;</p><p>Scotland, October 2013</p><p> ”Isabella, baby, wake up.  I have to leave for the airport.”  Tom woke her up gently kissing her hand.</p><p>  ”You don’t leave until tomorrow…”  She garbled at him.  </p><p>”It is tomorrow, I am flying to Oxford this morning and finishing up on the plans for the new house, then I leave tonight to go to Sydney for the Thor press tour.”  He helped her sit up in bed.  </p><p>”What time is it?”</p><p>”5:45, the car will be here at 6.”  He leaned in and kissed her softly.  ”When I come back you will be all beautiful and have a baby belly.  I wish you would change your mind and just come to Australia with me.  Three weeks is too long without seeing you.”</p><p>”I know, but I have a check up this week and it is the first week of filming.” She yawned.   </p><p> </p><p>”You will email me a copy of the scan right?”  He asked her running his fingers through her hair his hand stopping to caress her cheek.  ”I don’t care what time it is, call me when you are finished with the appointment.”  </p><p>”I will if they do one.  Might just be blood work.  The important scan is the week of the premiere in London.”  She leaned in and kissed him as the tears burned her eyes.  ” Please come home to us.  I love you.”</p><p>”I love you too.”  Tom smiled then turned serious. ”I am warning you now, not to listen to the press.  I will call you as often as I can, do not let the shit they might bring up enter that pretty head of yours.  I will try and call you every morning so the first thing you hear is my voice.  Quick before the car comes, let me get a picture of Bug.”  He pulled her into the bathroom and pulls up her shirt. Stand in front of the mirror, he tugged her Pajamas lower to expose her stomach.  ”There now you are to send me a picture like this twice a week.”  Tom picked her up and carried her back to bed.  He gave her one last kiss.  ”I love you Bella more than anything in the world.  I’ll call you later after I meet with the architect.”</p><p>”And text me when you land in Oxford.”  She told him.  ”I love you too.”</p><p>By 7:30 Bella was in the hair and makeup trailer getting everything ready for the day.  She looked up and saw Sam staring at her.  She had to laugh his hair was sticking up seven ways from Sunday.  ”Rough night?”  she asked.  </p><p>”You don’t look much better, ”  he responded with a grunt.  </p><p>”Well I get to look tired, I am pregnant and my husband is gone for the next 3 weeks for a promo tour.”  Isabella replied, ”So yeah, I win.”   </p><p>”When did he leave?”  Sam asked yawning.  </p><p>”This morning, he is charting a flight to Oxford, then meeting with our architect and contractor there.  We bought some land and are going to build a house there.”</p><p>”Wow must be nice, ” he muttered.</p><p>”We are selling our house in Belsize, and moving.”  She explained.  ”We want our kids to go to the schools he went to growing up.”</p><p>”So you two are good now?”  Sam questioned.</p><p>”Working on it, ” Isabella smiled brushing out his hair and wetting it down to be styled.  ”Why do you ask?”</p><p>”Last time we were all in London together you didn’t look happy he was back.”  Sam told her.</p><p>”Marriage is not something that is easy, especially for us.  We just want a normal life, get out of the city and have some room to breathe.  Plus we will be closer to his family. For what we wanted to spend, we were able to buy a little vacation cottage in Wales and this property.”  She eyed him.<br/>
”You are not worried about him on this press tour?”  </p><p>”Sam, what is your point?” </p><p>”A month ago you were going to leave him…”</p><p>”We both decided to put each other and our family first.  We needed to get back the fact we married each other because we love each other.  It took a weekend in Wales and a  long series of discussions about what we needed to do that.”  Isabella told him. ” And Loki didn't have to come out, well in the discussions that is.”</p><p>”Loki?”  Sam asked not knowing what she meant.  </p><p>”It is a joke, l call Tom Loki when he gets to shouting, he is back to being Papi.  I like Papi.”</p><p>”I don’t even want to know.”  Sam laughed.</p><p>”Mrs. Murray-Hiddleston?”  A delivery man said from behind.</p><p>”Jesus what did he do now?”  Isabella laughed seeing the huge arrangement of white long stem roses with one yellow rose in the middle, sitting on the rose was a dragonfly.  There were three other pink roses scattered throughout. ”Now I am bawling.  I can even read the card. Stupid hormones, and a damn romantic husband.” Opening the card she laughed again at his terrible handwriting.</p><p>	Good luck with your first day of shooting.  I haven’t even left the country yet and I miss you.  One white rose for every day I am gone, yellow for bug…  And pink for our angels.  I love you, all the words and poems in the world fail to explain how much I love you.  Your humbled and loving Husband, Tom xxx</p><p>”My husband is so sentimental at times.”  She dried her eyes.  ”You are done boy, I need to go fix my make up..”</p><p>”How can you go from one emotion to the next like that?”  Sam asked.  ”He…”</p><p>”He what?  Sam, you and I, we hardly know each other, I thank you for your concern.  When you met us the first time, both of us were angry at each other.  Marriages are not easy, neither Tom nor I am giving up.  Now, you are needed on set.” She excused him from her chair with a dismissive tone.  ”I have enough going on in my life right now.”</p><p>”Are you alright?” Cait asked sitting down in the chair Sam had vacated.  ”Those flowers are beautiful.”</p><p>”My husband, he is gone for 3 weeks, back for a week, gone again for 2.  Life as a Marvel widow.”  Isabella sighed with a laughed.  ”Thor isn’t as bad as Avengers press at least. ”  </p><p>”I don’t know how you do this.”  She smiled.  ”How are you feeling?”</p><p>”Tired, but yay no more morning sickness.”  Isabella replied hearing her phone ring she answered it.  ”You are a ridiculously sentimental man Mr. Hiddleston.  The flowers are beyond beautiful.”</p><p>”Well bug and I had a discussion while you were sleeping last night and thought you might like them.”  She could hear his smile over the phone.  ” I just got a call from Mia, she wants to do lunch.  I think she was sent to persuade me to do the movie.”  </p><p>”Ugh, you know my feeling.”  She told him.  ”Do you really want to miss the last three months of this pregnancy and Bugs birth?  You promised me.”</p><p>”There is one possibility we did not discuss.  You coming with me to Canada, your mom would be closer.  You could go home for a bit…  You could go to Seattle and get your American fix.”</p><p>”I’ll think about it.  Having Mom close would be a benefit.”</p><p>”Another reason is, we could sell our house and live in Canada while our place is being built.”  Tom added knowing that might push her into making a discussion.  </p><p>”Now you are being practical and it makes sense.”  She sighed.  ”As long as you are there I guess.  You know me well flowers and practicality, you know how to get your way with me.”</p><p>”Well, if I didn’t know how to have my way with you, would not be having our child now.”  He laughed.</p><p>”Off with you, now I want a balcony off the bedroom.”  I told him.</p><p>”Yes dear, ”  Tom laughed. ”So you are informed, my Dad called to say he is at my Aunt’s house and you are required to meet them for dinner at 7 there.”</p><p>”Did the Hiddleston men decide to be demanding of my attention today or something?”  I asked with a bit I distain in my voice.  </p><p>”Well considering I had all your attention at about 12:30 last night when I woke you up.  I would say so, ” He laughed.  ”I told him I flew out today and he wants to make sure you are ok, and he wants to talk to you.”</p><p>” What did I do now?”  I sighed</p><p>”You are carrying the only grandchild with the Hiddleston name, ”  He replied.  ”What do you think he wants to talk about.”</p><p>”Fine, now make sure you add my balcony to the plans, oh a greenhouse out back too.”  She added.</p><p>”We can add that later.” Tom laughed.  ”I love you, Bella,  I’ll call you later.”</p><p>”Damn, if my husband does not know how to work me.”  Isabella laughed as she fixed Cait’s hair.  </p><p>”I take it he is getting his way?”  She asked.</p><p>”Yes, but I get a balcony off my bedroom in the house we are building, plus a greenhouse.  I wonder what else I can get?”</p><p>”I must say, you were going tit for tat with him.”  </p><p>”That is how you work mister Hiddleston,  I am spoiled really.”  Isabella told her. ”When he has to go away I can pretty much ask him for anything.  I got a new car when he went on the Avengers press tour.  I work the system.”  Isabella giggled.  ”The joys of being with someone for 7 years.”</p><p>”You seem better than when we first met.”Cait said sincerely.</p><p>”We were able to get a few issues worked out.”  Isabella smiled.  ”Now I need to find somewhere to find a dress for his movie premiere in 3 weeks.  I’ll be 5 months pregnant, how the hell am I going to find something that fits.”</p><p>“That shouldn’t be too hard, if you find a dress I bet Bert would fit it for you.” Cait told her speaking of the costume designer on set.</p><p>”I’ll call around at lunch and find something.  I wonder if Bert would make me something, just a black shift dress and I can get a wrap…”     Isabella wondered. ”This is why I am getting what I want in the house.  He slips the little details in after I agree.”</p><p>”Oh it will be more than a shift dress if Bert does it. Why do I get the feeling Tom will have his people find you a dress?”</p><p>”He did that once, I still think his ass has teeth marks in it from where I chewed it.”  Isabella rolled her eyes.</p><p>”Sam was saying with day we first met you seemed like a kept woman.”  Cait began, ”I don’t believe that.”</p><p>” What is Sam’s issue?”  She asked.  </p><p>”Something about the way your husband was being possessive with you.”  Cait explained.</p><p>”Protective is a better word for it.”  Isabella explain.  ”He just returned from the US the night before, and he just found out I was 3 months pregnant.  Losing 3 pregnancies before kinda made him a little overprotective at that moment.  He was a little jealousy too.”</p><p>“Do you always make excuses for him?”  </p><p>“Excuses, no, that was the truth.  Protection was part of our wedding vows for a reason, I haven’t been protective enough of my husband or our marriage, and him either.  You are engaged, my advise in this business for you is to protect the love you and your fiancé have for each other.  Don’t let the shit I have been through change that.”  I replied finishing her hair.  “Sorry, my American comes out and I cuss.  Tom just rolls his eyes”. </p><p>“I think you know just what you are doing.”  She laughed as my phone rang again.</p><p>“Damn Hiddleston men, it’s my father-in-law.  I am expected, no, required at dinner tonight.  This is why I love the States.  I can say no, and fuck off, without offending anyone.  They will just be pissed and not hold it against you for 20 years.”</p><p>“Not use to the British way?”  Cait laughed.</p><p>“I am use to it, I just buck against it.”  I told her.  </p><p>“What are you doing tomorrow for lunch?”  Cait asked</p><p>“What time.  I come in at 3 pm for the night shoot.  My Doctors appointment is at 1.”  I responded putting the finishing touches on her hair.</p><p>“Everything ok with the baby?” </p><p>“Fine, so far.  I am high risk, so I go every two weeks for blood work and checkups.”  I shrugged, as long as I don’t ha e to go on bed rest before we get to Canada I will be ok with being a poked and prodded.”</p><p>“I was wondering if you would let me design your dress?”  Cait asked, “I have a design I could modify for the carpet, we could see if Bret will make it.”  </p><p>”That would be amazing.  I know you have a fashion background.”  I smiled, ”Thank you.  My bump shouldn’t be too big, although nothing fits.  I just bought some clothes a few weeks ago and need to get more.  Thank God I don’t have to let Tom know what I spend on clothes he’d freak.  He just wears the same outfit every day, except for December, he pulls out his red jumper.  He is so boring.”</p><p>”Ok, lunch at 2 before we come to work and we can discuss the dress.  Now I have to work on the boards for your scenes for the wedding episode with wardrobe.  Plus, I really need to sit down, I know my husband has a spy around here somewhere.  It is probably Tobias, he is the only one Tom knows I think.”</p><p>”What about me?”  Tobias asked walking in the door.</p><p>”That you are my husband’s spy.”  I laughed kissing his cheek.  ”How are you love?”  </p><p>”Yes, he notified me you were working this job.  Graham is here somewhere too.”  Tobias answered, ”Happy I get you and not him, I heard the play is taxing.”</p><p>”She has cut out a lot of dialog, and in my husbands wisdom of the period have lead to many discussions about the play.”  I gave him a small smile.  </p><p>”I bet it has.” Tobias laughed, ”But since congratulations are the order of the day…  How have you been?”</p><p>”Busy, now sit in my chair so I can fix that terrible haircut.”  I laughed. ”Seriously I need to talk to the staff here.”  </p><p>”How was going public, finally?”  Tobias chuckled.</p><p>”Right?  You know me, I don’t pay attention unless I need to.”  I replied, ”there is more to worry about than the press right now.”</p><p>”I remember when you two met at that pub on the West End.  We were there for a RADA meeting.”</p><p>”I was working Billy Elliott, ”  I smiled.  ”God those days on the West End, I miss it.”</p><p>”I remember you walking in the door and that was it.  We lost him.  I don’t think you had even sat down and he said he was going to marry you.”</p><p>”He introduced himself as my future husband.”  I laughed. ”I looked around and saw your table laughing at him.  Rhys was the best, he just cheers me and grinned.”</p><p>”Do you miss those days?”  Tobias asked.  ”I mean the West End.  Eight shows a week or getting home until midnight sometimes?”</p><p>”I miss the theater, Jesus I sound like him…” I told him.  ” I told Tom the other night, I miss us, just being able to go to dinner without watching out for reporters. We didn’t adapt very well.”</p><p>”You two will be fine.”  Tobias began,  ”That man loves you. What did you get this time?  I know he spoils you when he leaves.  Man needs to get over his guilt.”</p><p>”We are buying a new house because of bug, so I got a couple additions I wanted.”  Laughing at him.  ”Now tell my husband I am going to lunch then will be sitting down drawing the rest of the day drawing until I have to go to dinner.”</p><p>”You do know him.” Tobias laughed getting up to leave.  ”Thanks for fixing this.”</p><p>Grabbing her phone Isabella called her father in law.  ”Yes sir, 7 is fine.  I will be at the house on time for dinner, just no fish or anything from the sea. See you then.”</p>
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